Do You Understand?

No one knows exactly how I feel.
Every single day;
I feel that kind of pain.
Just as one night flows by;
The day begins to disturb me.
Do they prey upon me?
Why does this pain damage my thinking?
So many are bleeding by the soul.
Am I reading their thoughts?
Have I lost my insanity?
My dreams have gone awol.

Tell me exactly what I need to know.
She was the only one I wanted.
Then people are trying to criticize me.
Is that all they want to do;
By trying to put my life through hell?
Maybe they do not know the music in the bells.
I am not a child;
That lost her way in the dark and fell..
..Through the pot hole waiting to swallow me.
I follow myself by instinct.
Not calling myself a whore on the street.
Maybe bullies want greed;
On those who are helpless bleed by emotion.

Do you know who I am?
How I understand?
Is this Why I live in a dark corner;
Of the class room that people mock me by?
Do you understand who I am?
I sacrificed my freedom.
Not for those who feed on my weakness.
I was not able to breath;
In those who decided to use me...
..As a laughing stock.
Do you now understand me?
I am no longer afraid.
My pain is my advantage.

I will not be sleeping this night.
Some people are breeding by their selfishness.
I do not believe in controlling others.
Are they relieving their jokes;
On what I do not see myself as?
I can redefine my culture;
As some demented world that they do not see.
The flowers are full of colors;
While thier world is filled with black and white.
Then I will have to deify my demented world;
As an ancient lost cause.
Then they will not understand why I am lost.
But they do not count my suffering anymore.

My dreams are trickling with sadness.
The madness they still do not see anymore.
You do not know my power;
Nor my anger that fills my past.
Just because I am in love with her;
Will not mean I am a bad person.
At least I am learning who I am.
Some are burning on sadness.
Suffering from a desire lost in madness.
They must be blubber mouthed;
Lost with no compassion in what they say.
Never again will I be blind;
In reminding myself why I am lost in darkness.

Do you know who I am?
How I understand?
Is this Why I live in a dark corner;
Of the class room that people mock me by?
Do you understand who I am?
I sacrificed my freedom.
Not for those who feed on my weakness.
I was not able to breath;
In those who decided to use me...
..As a laughing stock.
Do you now understand me?
I am no longer afraid.
My pain is my advantage.

This is the one thing;
That I treasure in my soul.
They do not understand why;
I sacrifice my freedom.
We live for our secrets;
Untold by a raging desrire in love.
My soul is who I am.
Madness is always pushed away.
Let me know how you feel.
Then I can tell you what I see.
I can breath.
I can breath ..In my own loving desire.
I must have grown more brave than I dreamed of.

Now do you understand where I come from?
Understand what I do.
This is who I am.
What I do.
Why I live.
Give me a chance to change.
I love the cleansing rain.
You cannot predict who I am.
Understand that I am alive.(Alive!)
I am not a robot.
Nor am I dead in emotions.
Just understand I put my feelings forth;
Before any who feed on my weakness.